What now seems like a long time ago, my husband and I decided to put our future family in God's hands and stop intentionally preventing a pregnancy. We had only been married a few months, but we had started to hear stories of friends that had been trying for some time, some had suffered miscarriages, and we were both about to turn 30, so we figured, makes sense, right? It's crazy how quickly “not intentionally preventing a pregnancy” turns into, “let’s have a baby! ... NOW!!!”
After the first few months of negative tests, I tried not to be discouraged. Around this same time I discovered "trying to conceive" message boards which obviously led me to believe every month that I was both pregnant and not pregnant given my symptoms and self-diagnosis, and every time I got another negative test, I went back to the message boards to determine my 'cause of infertility.' (If any of you are going through this, you know exactly what I'm talking about). My husband would see me entranced by my computer and say to me, "Come on, love; that browsing is not life-giving." I knew he was right, but I couldn't help myself.
Fast forward many many months later and after many tests and consultations, our cause of infertility is still 'unexplained' (maybe the most frustrating part) but we take great comfort in knowing that our God is in control and has plans in store for us that are more incredible than we can even comprehend right now. He is the master storyteller. This is not to say I don't have tearful breakdowns every now and then as my heart aches to love a child of my own, or feel frustrated and angry with God that he has made us wait this long. After all, I feel like I did my fair share of waiting on God to introduce me to my husband! But most of the time, I feel God's unfailing love for me and know that He is not about to let me try to steer the ship on this one.
Throughout this season, I have heard incredible stories of God's faithfulness to couples that struggled with infertility and miscarriage, some of which friends have shared with me to bring me comfort. I cling to those stories and hold them close to my heart to keep me hopeful and confident in God's plan for us and our future family. Some of them are so amazing that they make the hair on your arms stand tall and are such good reminders that God DOES hear our cries, even when it feels like he does not.
The topic of infertility is tricky because it is often one that is kept very private. The whole process can be so isolating, not to mention totally embarrassing and awkward (hello male co-workers in the fertility clinic waiting room), and is not an easy conversation to bring up, but every time I have taken a leap and shared a piece of my heart, I have felt peace and comfort ten-fold. I understand that it is very personal, but I've gotten to a point where to me, it is just like any other struggle we face in life, be it singleness, addiction, or loss, and Christ calls us to be in community with one another, to pray for one another, and most importantly, to trust in Him.
So that is the reason for this site. Our stories are what make us who we are - they are what connect us to one another - and one day I realized what an amazing gift it would be to replace my message board browsing with story after story of God's faithfulness to those that have been down this road and can now look back and say, "Wow, I am so thankful. God, you are so good." With that, The Baby Wait was born.
It is my prayer that these stories first and foremost glorify God and make you in awe of His masterful work, and secondly that they bring you the hope and encouragement that you need to get through one more day.
Love and prayers,