Our story truly started on our first date in Starbucks nearly 7 years ago. We sat for 6 hours talking and drinking coffee. Some topics were comical and just plain getting to know each other, the other conversations were deep and meaningful. The most meaningful topic was adoption. Adoption was part of both of our stories beforehand, with my husband's family adopting 2 girls from China, and my father was adopted. It was part of us, and we loved it, and it led to us both wanting to build at least part of our family through adoption.
Almost a year after being married we decided to try to become pregnant naturally. Fast forward about 6 months, and nearly all of our friends being pregnant, I knew something wasn't quite right. We met with my Dr. but not a lot came from that appointment. We were eventually referred to a fertility Dr. and a lot of things were revealed during that time.
On my husbands birthday I had an HCG test along with a disheartening ultrasound. The HCG test revealed that my right fallopian tube was completely pinched and it would never be possible to be fixed. She also found that my right fallopian tube was completely straightened which is supposed to be coiled; I had fibroids inside and out of the uterus, and a couple of cysts. That day while I was recovering, I began searching for adoption agencies and narrowing down which country we could start the process for.
During our process and wait I had 3 surgeries within 2 years. My first surgery was to lessen the size of the fibroids, get rid of the cysts and explore for endometriosis. She didn't get as much done as she would have liked, but did confirm I had an advance case of endometriosis. She sent me home to recover with no hormones, so 3 months later I was in a lot of pain with 2 more cysts on my ovary that had to be removed. This time, it was with my OBGYN and I'm so thankful for that. She took care of everything and shortly after put me on a medication that caused my body to go through menopause. Thankfully, it was during winter because those hot flashes were no joke. It truly helped though, and we just waited after that. One year later, I knew I had to make one of the hardest decisions and get a partial hysterectomy. One week after deciding, I was in the hospital going back for surgery.
The recovery from my hysterectomy was the most difficult, physically, mentally, and especially emotionally. At this point we were told we would have been matched. It was difficult to watch friends and family build their families so quickly and with ease. We wanted to be parents, and we were longing for that picture of our daughter. Almost one month after my hysterectomy it was our day. We got the call, and the picture, and the ease. We were parents! To say we were excited was an understatement. It made up for all the days we waited and all the pain we had endured during our wait.
4 months after seeing our daughter's picture, we were home and a complete family. Sometimes I sit and think about our story before our daughter and it is such a reminder of how God's redemption can make such a positive difference in anyone's life. I know for certain that God placed adoption in both of our hearts before meeting for a reason. I know without a doubt God placed us together in our marriage because we endured a lot in a short amount of time and so early in our marriage. I never questioned whether my husband wanted to still be married to me because I couldn't have biological kids. God gave us each other to be strong for each other while we waited. God gave us our daughter to begin our family and remind us of how much He loves us.
There are still moments where I wonder what it would be like to be pregnant, the feelings, the emotions, the physical change in my body. Now, though, I quickly remind myself that a lot of people will not experience what I did. How a love for a child grew so strong in my heart I can hardly explain it. How we instantly felt like family even though we don't have the same blood. It reminds me greatly how God must feel when one of His children accepts Him and becomes part of His Kingdom. I think we are blessed enough to get a little snippet of how He feels, because we have adopted and brought this beautiful child into our home.